WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE?
It’s one of those questions that come to mind in the latter stages of life, but I have asked myself this on many occasions.
The first time I recall pondering this question was after I brought my newborn twins from the hospital. It seemed that I could never satisfy their infinite demands. Feeding, changing, bathing, and soothing their cries was my primary concern. All else fell by the wayside.
When I peered into the mirror I could barely recognize myself, “What have I done with my life?”
Fast forward 17 months later when baby #3 was born, we now had three kids under the age of two. Keeping up with the trio left me drained to say the least and it wasn’t all their fault. In the midst of it all, I appeared strong and capable. Even my husband didn’t believe me when I said I was overwhelmed. As a result, I ended up having a screaming fit in my closet which left him feeling bewildered and my children afraid.
In hindsight I was waiting for someone to rescue me, but I didn’t fit the ‘appearance’ of someone who needed help.
I needed to take care of myself. “What have I done with my life?”
I contacted a therapist to help me deal before I lost the only marble I had left.
During my time in therapy, I often referred to my life transition as a death. Essentially, I was mourning the loss of my ‘former self.’ Each time I asked, “What have I done with my life?” I didn’t realize that I had not died, just simply moved on into another stage of life.
I was establishing a NEW NORMAL.
Oh, the freedom that comes with the renewing of the mind!!
In finding a NEW NORMAL came a whole ‘nother level of self-discovery.
I never thought of myself as being change adverse, but realized I was okay with change as long as I was the one in control. [You can laugh now.]
Life changes. Duh, everyone knows that. But if that’s the case, why are we blindsided when we come to a new phase in our lives?
Add kids to the mix and you realize EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS CHANGING AND EVOLVING at an even faster rate. It’s called growth, people.
I’ve been through LOTS of transition since then and have been able to roll with the punches. BRING IT ON, but not too much at one time.
Are you in the process of finding a new normal? Are you currently asking yourself, “What have I done with my life?” I’ve finally answered that question…I’M LIVING IT!